Kenneth Doka (Half-day June 14 ) (Full-day June 15 )

Workshop Title
BEYOND GENDER - Understanding the Ways Men and Women Grieve

Purpose/ Objective of Workshop
At the conclusion of this presentation, participants will be able to:

  1. Describe institutional, intuitive, blended and dissonant patterns of grief;
  2. Describe the theoretical and research basis for a continuum of grieving styles;
  3. Discuss the ways that each pattern can facilitate or complicate the grieving process;
  4. Identify and discuss pathways to grieving patterns including, gender, culture, cohort, and temperament;
  5. Discuss the effect of development on grieving patterns;
  6. Describe interventive techniques suitable for each pattern.

Brief Description
Many individuals believe that if an individual does not show or share sadness or express other emotions, that individual is not in touch with or is suppressing grief.  In fact, grief reactions are highly individual and varied.  Many men, and women, may express their grief in more instrumental ways, showing grief in more cognitive or active manifestations.  This session explores the different patterns or styles of grief, emphasizing that each of these pattern has their own distinct advantages and disadvantages. 

Counselors would benefit from this session in two major ways. First it challenges counselors to move beyond affect to explore the many ways that individuals cope with loss. Second, the workshop offers specific interventive strategies that are effective with different patterns.


I. Introduction:  Styles of Grief

  1. Myths about Men and Grief
  2. Theoretical and Research Perspectives
  3. A Cultural Caveat
II. Styles of Grief
  1. Intuitive
  2. Instrumental
  3. Blended
  4. Dissonant
  5. Styles and Development

III. Pathways to Patterns

  1. Gender
  2. Temperament
  3. Culture
  4. Other

IV. Interventive Strategies

  1. Counseling Intuitive Grievers
  2. Counseling Instrumental Grievers
  3. Counseling Dissonant Grievers
  4. Counseling Males: Sensitivities and Approaches
  5. Group and Ritual Support
Conclusion, Q & A

Facilitator Bio

Dr. Kenneth J. Doka is a Professor of Gerontology at the Graduate School of The College of New Rochelle and Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America. A prolific author, Dr. Doka’s books include Improving Care for Veterans Facing Illness and Death, Ethics and End-of-Life Care, Beyond Kübler-Ross: New Perspectives on Death, Dying, and Grief, Spirituality and End-of-Life Care, Grieving beyond Gender: Understanding the Ways Men and Woman Mourn; Counseling Individuals with Life-Threatening Illness; Cancer and End-of-Life Care; Diversity and End-of-Life Care; Living with Grief: Children and Adolescents, Living with Grief: Before and After Death, Death, Dying and Bereavement:  Major Themes in Health and Social Welfare (a 4 Volume edited work), Pain Management at the End-of-Life: Bridging the Gap between Knowledge and Practice, Living with Grief: Ethical Dilemmas at the End of Life, Living with Grief: Alzheimer’s Disease, Living with Grief: Coping with Public Tragedy; Men Don’t Cry, Women Do: Transcending Gender Stereotypes of Grief; Living with Grief: Loss in Later Life, Disenfranchised Grief: Recognizing Hidden Sorrow: Living with Life Threatening Illness; Children Mourning, Mourning Children; Death and Spirituality; Living with Grief: After Sudden Loss; Living with Grief:  When Illness is Prolonged; Living with Grief: Who We Are, How We Grieve; Living with Grief:At Work, School and Worship; Living with Grief: Children, Adolescents and Loss; Caregiving and Loss: Family Needs, Professional Responses; AIDS, Fear and Society; Aging and Developmental Disabilities; and Disenfranchised Grief: New Directions, Challenges, and Strategies for Practice. In addition to these books, he has published over 100 articles and book chapters. Dr. Doka is editor of both Omega: The Journal of Death and Dying and Journeys: A Newsletter to Help in Bereavement.